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About This Blog

In Uncategorized on January 10, 2010 by shemark57

I am an over-50 woman who had a late in life pregnancy and recently moved back to New York city after 20 years in the suburbs. I have found that there is a huge population just like me here. I call it “Attack of the 50-year-old Women” – New York returnees who, after abandoning it, have rediscovered the joys of city living. We are rediscovering friends, life, the arts and apartment living. (Oh, the joys of having a super to unclog your toilet!)

My blog will comprise all that is interesting, frustrating and/or fun about rediscovering your young adult hometown, this time with your suburbs-reared child. I’ll be documenting my journey, as well as those of my friends. My blog will discuss the challenges and joys of such a change.

I will also address reationship issues, via a once-weekly advice column. Having spent more than 20 years in the dating pool before I married my husband, I have a vast store of knowledge in this area. If you have a relationship question that you would like answered, please e-mail me at I will answer one or two letters per week.  I reserve the right to make up letters, if I so desire.

Because this blog has, as its starting point, things that occur in my and my friends’ lives, reviews will be an important regular topic. I will discuss how my taste in food has changed since my last go-round, and dig out places that are over-40 friendly – i.e., places where you can see your companion as well as hear him. I attend higher-priced cultural events than I did when I was in my 20s. An evening in some drafty, dank East Village black box watching dancers parade around barefoot as they perform a salute to Eugene V. Debs doesn’t cut it for me any more. My taste in entertainment tends to more mature subject matter as well – what is a “Transformer,” anyway?

I know a lot more about food – when I was in my 20s, snails were still in the “ewwwww” category. But sometime in my late ’20s, I discovered the secret – it’s not about the snail at all! – IT’S REALLY JUST AN EXCUSE TO SOP UP A TON OF BUTTER AND GARLIC WITH YOUR BREAD!!!! It goes without saying that I am now a voracious “snail” (heh-heh) eater.

I will address all sorts of entertainments that are more appropriate to the over-40 set. (The Dark Knight? Heath Ledger? REALLY? But wasn’t it SOOOO loud? And what were all those explosions about? But I digress…)

As I struggle with the joys and frustrations of raising a 10-year-old New York city transplant, I will discuss parenting issues for the over-40 parent of a younger child. I will also discuss how watching my daughter discover the New York that I know so well changes the way I see it, and informs my opinions about what is good and bad about the city.

We over-50s have different political concerns than 20-somethings, but we’re not totally down with the Medicare, my-entitlements-or-my-life set, either. I rarely see this segment of the population heard from. It seems that the coverage I see is all about militant AARP members or T-baggers (leave it to the Conservative Right to turn a perfectly nice gay sex act into the name of a reactionary, fear-mongering, advocacy group. The first time I heard it, I thought, but why do they need to have their right to shove their testicles in someone’s face protected? Really.)  My column will give a voice to the issues faced by over-40 under-70 women who still consider themselves vital, growing people, and aren’t ready for the early-bird special just yet.

I have been married to the same person (2nd marriage) for 15 years; several of my friends are divorced or never-married. I will discuss the special challenges that relationships pose for the over-40 set. I might discuss how one’s relationship evolves as one ages. Or I might address the concerns of my single friends – e.g., you want to go out and meet guys, but most of your friends are already involved or don’t want to be – do you go to that bar by yourself? I will also ask the question, “Does a woman who is financially secure and is gratefully done with child-bearing even NEED a full-time man around the house?”

I hope that I can provide some insights about the special relationship challenges that older women, both involved and not, face. I welcome any comments and suggestions my readers may have.

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